“A person’s perception is THEIR reality. ”
It took me most of undergrad to learn: people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves and they only understand at their own level of perception. Perception is such a large component of life. I know, I know, perception is relative but that is my point exactly. A person's stance on whether or not they are right or wrong regarding a scenario depends on who they are CURRENTLY as a person, and every other fleeting circumstance that could play a factor in why they have chosen their side.
If time were frozen while a homeless person and a someone else were exchanging money: two perceptions could be obtained.
"Omg! How nice that nice young man is giving back to the less fortunate." (a positive viewpoint)
"Someone call the cops! This guy is being mugged by a hobo!" (a negative viewpoint)
Understand that this ONE situation, was seen differently by TWO different people. Two totally different perceptions, but for each person viewing the scenario that was THEIR reality and THEIR response. This point alone is important because what they see in others is a reflection of what they see in themselves. So if they saw negative, likely they are pessimistic in character, etc. Who they are may not be where you are in your person, so that governs why you see things differently than them. This is where you need patience, because you HAVE to allow for people's humanity. You have to shine light in their dark places no matter how tiring it becomes.
Actuality exists, yes, but it's mythical. We, as humans, are not conscious enough and do not take everything into account in every single moment of our lives to get the actuality of things. We think in absolutes, which is not fair to situations that are not black and white. This alone should change how you navigate a situation henceforth in life. Every battle is not a battle worth fighting, because you do not know what the reality of the other person is. Ever.
That is not to say you should excuse upset when it arises, but it is to say you could be less selfish. We are all born naturally selfish; survival of the fittest mentality is innate. However, regardless of how you view a situation, it will not be parallel to the way the next person will view such. What is that person going through? Who is this person, in their entirety? IF there is even a right or wrong side, people whom agree won't always state the very same attributes as to why they have chosen that side of the argument. But if it is a battle worth pursuing, don't just gear up to have a standoff with enemy lines demarcated; gear up to love someone into a new level. Strangers and loved ones, alike.
You have to get off the soapbox... You just have to. The whole "I am allowed to be mad..." viewpoint will not make the other person see the error of their ways; it also won't offer up a solution to your problem. Furthermore, have you considered the other person's circumstances RIGHT there in THAT moment? Or is your reality just... "more important" right now?
Ask yourself:
Did they have a bad day? What kind of stress is on their plate? Do I understand why they feel themselves to be right in the wrong? Could I ask them to clarify what they're thinking/doing? Am I expressing mature vulnerability regarding my own emotions? Am I being humble and just? Am I communicating effectively? Am I being condescending? Am I belittling?
Am I moving in love?
AM I MOVING IN LOVE?
Are you moving in love? That's the most important question here, hence it being stated three times. When you are correcting someone THROUGH LOVE, it is edification. Edification is the instruction or improvement of a person morally or intellectually. There is a scenario where you can very well handle a situation where you ARE right about what you feel but you've handled it all wrong. So ask yourself not in hindsight, but in the moment: How can I convey love through disagreeing with the actions of another? How can I through love make someone perceive the reality I have? How can I through love help someone displace their own druthers (a person's preference in a matter) and be empathetic to me?